So I know this is random and I hope you don’t think it’s weird, but since you got that Logan On Love show, I figured I’d share my “love story” with you. lol
So I went out with this girl in eighth grade and ended up settling down with her. We went out for four years and ten months. The relationship was kind of an opposites attract type of thing. After like eight months I was like “Why haven’t we had sex yet?,” but she said she wanted to save it for marriage. I was a smoker and she was a drinker so after two years I quit smoking for her because she hated it and she quit drinking so it would be fair. At the 3 year mark I got her a promise ring. However, she was mad it wasn’t an engagement ring and I wasn’t ready for that. It was pretty good and we were like best friends. Three months before we broke up we got matching heart tattoos. And let me tell yah.. It did not look very manly on me. lol But then a month before we broke up a new guy started at her job and they started hanging out and she started back drinking, so I started smoking.
About two weeks before we broke up she spent the night with him to celebrate her birthday and then two weeks later she left me for him. Then I found out she had sex with him that night which was pretty devastating because I respected her decision to wait until marriage for almost 5 years. When I found out, I got a “no love” tattoo to cover up our matching tattoo.. I learned a whole lot from it. That was like almost two years ago. That’s about it, sorry so long and random.
I do not think you are weird at all. Thank you for sharing this story with me. I surely understand and relate to where you come from.. I am sorry it didn’t work out between the two of you. That’s a lot of your time invested in loving someone and it turning out the way it did. First of all, she didn’t have the right to get mad about you not wanting to marry yet. I mean, you were so young then and you still are now.I don’t blame you for not being ready for that kind of commitment because there is so much involved with marriage and the preparation for it.
Secondly, I believe it is right to wait for marriage. That is what I am doing, but she obviously wasn’t sincere or she would not have slept with another guy. Seems like she was just telling you that because she didn’t want to give herself away to YOU like that. She probably feared commitment, so in turn she wanted to turn it around on you being the one who was afraid, just so she wouldn’t be the one to blame. And that guy had most likely been in the picture before you knew of him (just assuming). Hense, another reason why she didn’t want to commit to you. Her reasoning probably had nothing to do with marriage, it most likely had to do with her lack of feelings for you, which can be devastating as you have come to find.
Thirdly, you should never have to change yourself and your lover shouldn’t have to change for you unless it’s for better health, which it was, but changing was obviously not something you really wanted to do and I doubt she wanted to either. And if she wasn’t even committed enough to you, she wouldn’t have been committed enough to change as well.. People don’t like altering themselves because they want to feel as if they are good enough just the way they are. Evidently your relationship suffered from mis-communication and un-mutual feelings. I am not trying to explain a bunch of things you may already know, I am just replying and giving my opinion.
I was glad to share it with you. I’m glad you can understand and relate. I agree with your opinion a lot. It was a lot of time invested and then that happened. It sucked because I turned down a bunch of girls for her, but it happens. I’m glad you agree on the marriage thing. I only want one marriage in my lifetime so starting this young is too risky. That’s cool that your waiting until marriage, too. I agree very much that lovers shouldn’t change their self . I think that happens a lot and is a big downfall. Thanks a lot for giving me your opinion.