In the past, I have noticed when observing certain couples, that there is a lack of mutual happiness. I could not possibly count the times I have observed unhappy relationships. Successful relationships are fundamental to a healthy life and yet so many of us are deficient of this. As a human, I naturally become discouraged at times when I experience the unhappiness of other people. I observe what has made others unhappy in love and it makes me wonder why and how it is happening. I have noticed that many people often rationalize and compromise their being, happiness, dignity, and standards just to avoid the feeling of loneliness and that is not fair. It’s not fair to either one involved because the foundation of the relationship is based on lies and love does not strengthen through lies. Lies are the result of unjustifiable rationalization and compromise. Lies withhold people from ever truly being in love and can also result in something far more painful than temporary loneliness. Lies weaken a system of love because an entire picture is never painted; reality is never painted for either one. Lies create a twisted fantasy and honesty creates real true love; true love of yourself and the rest of humanity.
In any kind of relationship, if you feel compelled to go against your conscience; what you believe to be right; what makes you happy; and unjustifiably change, then you don’t belong in that relationship. You belong with people and lovers who fill your heart with true love. You belong with people who empower the beautiful qualities you possess.
Below are characteristics I have found within relationships, that people continually justify, people continually live with, through the belief that love continually involves these characteristics, when that’s not the case.
It is acceptable to argue at times, but it is wise to really think about what you say because words are powerful. If you were to cause someone pain, it could remain in their mind for years. Depending on how high or low the self esteem of this person, negative words or actions could range from being highly traumatic to neutral, but most of the time, people are going to be hurt when you say mean things about them. If it gets to the point where you argue or feel negatively towards your partner on a daily basis, then there is no time to waste in a relationship like that. If you or your partner’s feelings have been hurt to the point of no return, then you shouldn’t try to come back. If you can’t agree on what each other values, then where do you actually start relating? Most of the time, if people communicate effectively, then arguments never arise. Effective, calm, and rational communication gets the ball rolling to where you can find whether you need to be with or without your current significant other.
Cheating is such a heightened level of betrayal that couples rarely make it through once it occurs. No, it will never be alright to cheat under any circumstance. Cheating ruins a relationship on so many levels. Cheating on someone, in my opinion, is insulting, thoughtless, and careless. It’s one of the most heartbreaking times one could ever experience. If you can’t trust your partner, then you can’t be in love with your partner. Cheating brings distrust and dishonesty into a relationship, and after trust is lost, the heart is extremely difficult to mend. Those who decide to cheat were already feeling a sense of unhappiness and un-fulfillment before the act. The dishonesty, irrationality, and lack of communication from the cheater, is what results in cheating. Relationships don’t work without honesty, rationality, and communication.
If you have returned to your ex for the 50th time, it doesn’t mean you’re in love, it means you are lonely. You desire attention from someone you know will give it to you, instead of being patient enough to wait for someone you can truly love to come along. Just because you are back with your ex, doesn’t mean you were meant to be with him forever or that you’re in love. Instead you are wasting your time. If you’re truly in love, you would never actually leave the one you truly loved.
One of the joys of truly falling in love is that you can be honest with who you love. You can be yourself. If you feel the need to lie, then you are concealing who you really are to the other person, which results in adverse effects. The whole picture isn’t painted for the two of you. Honesty brings depth to love while dishonestly brings separation. Just because you conceal who you are, doesn’t change the reality of who you are. You can either open up or isolate yourself from someone ever knowing and loving who you really are. If you rationally feel a sense of guilt with yourself, then maybe you should become happier with yourself by being someone you actually want to be; someone you don’t have hide. Being honest about yourself and your feelings is absolutely essential, if you ever wish to have a fulfilling relationship.
The passion never has to leave your relationship because you should always be able to remember how much your love means to you. Passion is what keeps people in love. The fire never has to leave if you remind yourself of how important your love is and how empty you would feel without him or her in your life. Take a moment to realize how your life would be like without him or her, and if that is overly-imaginable, then you were never in love to begin with. Passion never leaves between people who are actually in love. The deeper you truly love your partner from the beginning, the deeper passion grows as the relationship progresses. Remember how much life and love you and your partner have generated together. Remember how much your partner has loved you. Remember how loyal your partner is. Remember how good and wonderful he or she has and currently makes you feel. Couples who remember each other, are those who live in passion with each other.